Anonymous asked: Kinda wanna give u the dick honestly

K that’s all guys

I don’t even want to ever be in a relationship ever again. I just want to have lovers and friends and then have them go away and come back sometimes. 

This is Real and Someone Out There Has it

Maybe even someone you know. Dear god

The boobs as eyes though is killing me. 

"Maybe in another life time" is the theme of forever. 

I have my own url now. Biggest news of all time. Hella moving up in the blogosphere not.

In other news I am traveling and am in LV at the moment doing nothing but eating and lying to my parents about how great things are. I’ve ran into plenty of old friends slash non friends from HS and it has been God fucking awful. How do you tell someone you haven’t seen for three years what really is “up”. Like dude all I want to tell you right now is “nvm bye”. I did play bingo last night which is the coolest game of all time because people are forced to keep quiet. I don’t have to hear anyone talk about nothing, but still accomplish hanging out. Great time.

I go to NYC on the twelfth. Let’s pray I don’t die LOL.


bikini kill footage in the punk singer

all boys be cool, for once in your lives

Things I Didn’t Understand in 2013

The best part about the year’s end isn’t the holidays or the shitty ass weather or the fact that you have to spend money on everyone else but yourself…it’s the lists. The best album lists, the best movie lists, the best pixxxxx of 2013 lists…so this year..I decided to make a list. A list of the top 5 things I did not understand or “get” in the year 2013.

The fuck is this band? Like is this a sick joke? Why don’t I “get” this buzzworthy band that can seem to do no wrong? Sure, they can play their instruments way better than I will ever be able to write, but I just don’t get why their sound is so critically acclaimed and ~hip~ and *NEW*. Am I the only one who feels like they are awful representation of what ladies should be doing in music? They are free to sound as they please, but I’d suggest by steering clear of romantic-comedy vibes. Anytime their songs come on in public I feel like I am an extra on Maid in Manhattan and J.Lo as one of her many damsel in distress characters is about to pop out of nowhere with a bunch of shopping bags and a big ass smile on her face. 

The Ramen Burger
Enough okay. Enough. Enough with this foodie bullshit. This obsession with interesting and !!FuNkY new food comboz!! needs to end. It’s ridiculous and just another way to get you to fall in line for no reason. Oh you want a cronut? How about I just shove a doughnut and croissant in your face simultaneously and you can tell me how good it tastes…you will thank me when you realized you saved 50 minutes of your life waiting in line.

Wedged Sneakers
I never really understood wedges. They aren’t clunky enough to be considered chunky nor are they refined enough to fit my definition of a good heel. I do, however, understand sneakers. They are comfortable and generally classic/universal. Almost everyone owns a pair of sneakers..that is why they should be left as just that. Sneakers. They shouldn’t be transformed into some wack trend that disguises your stubby legs. Everyone still knows you’re short and now your shoes are on sale for 25.99 at Urban.

Macaulay Culkin’s The Pizza Underground band
Okay can we all just stop with the “pizza” shit for a moment? I am guilty of this pizza stuff and yes it is one of my top 3 favorite foods, but I have also realized that we are giving a little too much when it comes to pizza. It is already widely known that pizza is one of the coolest things ever, but pizza has literally become the new black. The same people that say they only ever wear black are the same people that say they only ever eat pizza. It’s getting old, you guys. Pizza will never get old, but the whole act of making it ~art~ and ironic and tumblr famous is getting v. v. v. old. Macaulay Culkin you are late and not funny and this is just sad. I mean I guess you are somewhat relevant again, but honestly it’s kind of rude to abuse pizza like that. 

What Does the Fox Say
It hurts me to even type that out. I am generally open to most forms of humor and find a vast amount of things funny, but I also have a filter. It filters out shit that tries too hard. I don’t get why this song exploded all over the world wide web and why it was so quotable. I have had to sit there in boredom several times as this played and my friends laughed and laughed and I sat and sat..feeling left out or like I was missing something. I just don’t get it nor do I find it funny. The music is obnoxious and the humor relies on incessant questions that come off as so random. When I say “random” I mean it in the worst way possible, like that girl who describes herself as random because she makes funny noises and likes anime..but it’s like, No. No, you are absolutely not random. You are just fucking weird and annoying like that “what does the fox say” song.

Scrolling through my Tumblr feed and came across this photo. I am like 80% sure this is my street and that is my apt on the very right (my address begins with 632). I wonder how old this picture is because the house that is tagged has been renovated for years. 

Scrolling through my Tumblr feed and came across this photo. I am like 80% sure this is my street and that is my apt on the very right (my address begins with 632). I wonder how old this picture is because the house that is tagged has been renovated for years. 

So, This Question


Let’s see, how do I answer this question without sounding like a totally entitled asshole without any good reason to be totally entitled? Oh wait, I can’t. I think the ways this city has changed are so painfully obvious it’s almost best to just shut the fuck up about it and take it as it is, because I wasn’t born here and I am not a native and let’s be honest, with out me (meaning..if I moved away) this city wouldn’t collapse and my heart wouldn’t stop beating upon my physical departure. I am just happy enough that I am in a very unique situation that allows me to exist here without selling my soul to mold into a blood/microbrew sucking programmer OR make salary on managing social media OR BLAHIMPORTANTTHROWUPBLAH. 

This city has been changing, as has the world…as has Pangea which is now SIX continents…SEVEN if you count Australia, but who’s counting? Anyway, how hasn’t it changed? My first apartment here (which I have moved out of 3 years ago) is now 1800 dollars to rent as apposed to the 750 I used to pay for that room. There are giant high-rise apartments all up and down market street..being built more often than the times I even GO to market street. Whenever there was a baby in public at least one of my friends used to mention a rare occurrence in the wild. ”You guys, look, a baby….”, they would say. I even forgot kids existed every now and then. Now, I am reminded of these things every time I leave my door. I have been late because of stroller traffic on Valencia and in corner stores.

You hear buzzwords fucking everywhere. I can’t eat an eggs benedict without hearing the word “start-up” or “app” or “programmer” or whatever other important things these important people are doing in this v important city. But whatever, I probably just don’t get it.

It’s still San Francisco, many things are still here. I don’t hate the change because hating it is just going to make me a frigid and jaded bitch who is all “WELL BACK IN MY DAY” at the age of 23…and like I said, I’m not entitled to any of that. Besides, I was already born pretty frigid and jaded, so….

It hasn’t changed entirely, but much of the San Francisco that was my world has changed. Friends have moved away, places have closed, we lose touch, people have babies and move here. I mean, really….what are they supposed to do? Not have babies? Not make money? Not move to this beautiful city that they have the right to live in just as you or I? I don’t know. I could bitch about it or forget about it or just change right with it and I am just trying to find a happy medium between all three. So far it’s working, I think. 

Anonymous asked: Don't be such a tease, where's the come back??!

Like pizza from da delivery man, IT’S HERE!

They Weren’t Kidding When They Said it Goes Quicker as You Get Older

Where the fuck did this year go? I mean really though. Time is so bizarre. I know old people and those of you in your late twenties LOVE to talk about how time goes ~oh so fast~ and I have no idea what I am in for, but this year went as fast as the toilet paper I bought for the apt. two days ago.

I feel like every year I make so many promises to myself and then they just get lost and then another year has passed by and not much has changed, but when you break down months and then weeks and then days and put everything to perspective…time just really isn’t moving as fast as we think it is. Work kills the idea of taking anything slow since we are always racing for that next day off and every day in between just molds together and gets purged into a pile of things that don’t matter by the end of the year.

I’m trying to justify the fact that this year went especially fast for me by coming to terms with being older. And by older I do not mean “old”….I mean “older”…as in seasoned when compared to the wide-eyed eighteen year old I moved here as. Every year that went by after that first year I always felt like I could refer to my eighteen year old self and still find it there somewhere, but just recently I thought about who I was then and realized “Jesus, I was so young”. This year was the first year that I looked back on my life in San Francisco and realized I have aged here. 

What I am trying to get at is that I have finally changed enough here to say that who I was when I first moved here has evolved into a vague memory and formed the shape of a character in my past. Which is sort of sad, I guess. 

But I guess this place isn’t really the same as it was then either. 


Maybe you don’t care or maybe you’ll never notice but I have a cool/smooth/improved new Tumblr look. Same great taste.