you GUYS

I just made the best purchase of my life. I am already stoked to be back in the best city to ever exist and now I’ve just made my arrival that much better. Because I just bought THIS leather jacket that will turn ALL the heads and had it sent to Justin’s and now I am dying to get home because it isn’t mine till I’m back and in the right weather to wear it. 

I’ve wanted a motorcycle REAL leather jacket since I was sixteen. 

OMG GET ON ME NOW.

STOP IT.

HEY SAN FRANCISCO HOW ABOUT ALL OF YOU STOP BREAKING UP AND CHANGING SO FUCKING MUCH WHILE I’M GONE. IF I HEAR ONE MORE THING ABOUT MY WHOLE WORLD TURNING UPSIDE DOWN I WILL SHIT BRICKS. SINCE WHEN DID YOU GUYS DECIDE TO GET SO COLORFUL? YOU WERE JUST SUPPOSED TO SIT IN A CHAIR FOR 2.5 MONTHS AND WAIT FOR MY RETURN…NOT DO ALL THIS CRAZY SHIT LIKE FUCKING WEIRDOS AND BREAK UPS AND JOBLESSNESS ETC. 

FUCK YOU I DON’T CARE IF IT’S SUMMER AND THIS IS LIFE. WHAT ABOUT ME.

ALSO STOP OPENING UP NEW CRAZY APARTMENTS IN THE MISSION. STOP CHANGING. STOP!

I COME BACK IN 10 DAYS. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. GET. IT. TOGETHER.

Figured I wanted to seduce my tumblr feed today because I’m self absorbed. JK I really did this because my bangs are fresh cut and I havent had them this short for almost a year or so. Also I just waxed my eyebrows for the first time in truly 6 months so if you ever wondered what I hide underneath my bangs it’s a unibrow. Looking this clean and liberated needs to be recorded via gif. 

Figured I wanted to seduce my tumblr feed today because I’m self absorbed. JK I really did this because my bangs are fresh cut and I havent had them this short for almost a year or so. Also I just waxed my eyebrows for the first time in truly 6 months so if you ever wondered what I hide underneath my bangs it’s a unibrow. Looking this clean and liberated needs to be recorded via gif. 

It's Time to Take a Trip Home When...
Text from Dad:  Is it raining over there?
Me:  Yeah it's intense! Thunder and lightening. It's gnarly.
Dad:  Stay dry! I'd hold your umbrella if I was there! Love, Dad
 -I immediately start bawling upon receiving text-
NY Teaches me SO much about My People

One thing NY has showed me is that everyone in SF is fake skinny.

TOO TUMBLR RELEVANT NOT TO POST

TOO TUMBLR RELEVANT NOT TO POST

I was buzzin hard after bottomless mimosas and brunch last weekend when we went to this small little park smacked between buildings. It’s weird…there are a ton of those in the city. You’ll just walk down the street and all of a sudden a pretty substantially sized garden/meadow/park will appear out of nowhere so you can be somewhat tranquil in the most stressful city of all time. This one in particular was called Dr. Greenthumb which was perfect since we were trying to find a place to smoke a joint (which is one of the most difficult things to figure out here…it’s up there with public drinking and peeing which is almost part of the culture in SF. It’s disgusting and sad but at least I am being a reasonably honest ~journalist~). So after getting high we noticed a very cannabis looking leaf on a picnic table and of course I don’t question anything and I’m like “IT’S A SIGN! IT’S A WEED LEAF! THERES A FUCKING PLANT IN THIS GARDEN!” We were all in awe for like , a good minute before Gabi destroyed my hopes and dreams by assuring me it was a maple leaf. 

Time Machine

I must have become a 17 year old girl trying to find herself in NY because I don’t wanna do anything but listen to the new Fiona Apple and Beach House albums.

Please.

Please.

I hate when people in San Francisco post pictures of the skyline on their blogs but I just miss it so much. 

I hate when people in San Francisco post pictures of the skyline on their blogs but I just miss it so much. 

Typical?
Lots of girls in New York:  I'm a stylist
Me after I look at what they're wearing which is usually so boring I want to cry but try to remain interested:  Oh....really?! That's cooooooooooooooooooooooool. How'd that happen?
4th Of July. Last Year.

Last year’s fourth was probably one of the most memorable holidays of my whole life in San Francisco. I know I keep talking about the damn place like I’m some ungrateful elitist who refuses to like the city she is in but that is probably because I am. But besides that I have also had such good memories there that I’ve taken for granted. In a sense I am glad I left so I can go back and rage and love shit like I used to. It sounds so cheeseball but being away for a month and some change has really made me appreciate just how great I have it there. Especially when it comes down to all of the really fucking close pals I have. I will never have friendships like those ever again. Not in any city, not any other time. I’d bet anything on it.

This isn’t an exciting story by any means, but an enjoyable one that I think back on. It’s the kind of shit that makes me suddenly realize the music that I listened to around that time last year is slowly becoming nostalgic and no longer current. Last fourth of July I remember Justin and I were going through some big huge break up again so getting drunk felt like the best thing ever, all the time. I was also banging someone else not long after we had broken up because I felt like I was helen of troy and was entitled to do so and a bad ass and well..it was his fault. Naturally, we weren’t talking but because we had mutual friends we had to pretend like we didn’t know each other. I’m pretty sure I woke up on Showkat’s couch and ate breakfast with AC and him at St. Francis, but I’m not entirely positive because I hung out with them so much around that time that it kind of just blurs into one long weekend.

Anyway, prior to that it was on July 3rd that I randomly met up with them extremely late after fucking around on turntable.fm (which was the jam..i’m not sure why that fizzled out because that was probably one of the most excellent ideas ever). I assume everyone else was out getting retarded because it was July 3rd and that’s a day before July 4th so that’s a logical reason to black out. We just decided to go to the top of Bernal hill and light off fireworks. That was the infamous night of “walleet, housein” and alex knowing his liquor store guys on a first name basis while they did liquor-money exchange through the closing gate at like 1:59am…as recorded HERE. I remember Showkat was wearing a white linen blazer from Buffalo Exchange and shorts and I can’t help but start cracking up as I type this.

We didn’t quite make it to the top of Bernal Hill because Showkat encouraged us to climb this really sick under construction house that is now finished and way out of our leagues and probably worth 2 mil. Regardless, it was ours for the night…or at least the balcony was. I legit thought I was going to die climbing up the make shift wooden boards made to be stairs or whatever the fuck I was climbing on. To this day, I have no idea how I made it up there. I just remember screaming and being made fun of the entire way up and I’m pretty sure I had to be like, carried over a jump at one point but regardless we finally made it to the top. Once we got to the top we drank and listened to shit on each others phones. Eventually we started to get sketched out by cars that would stop right outside of the house when I remembered I left my shit on the bottom floor. I started freaking out and I’m pretty sure that’s when the night turned “warzone themed” and Showkat was leopard crawling around the roof in his white blazer and saying shit like “GET DOWN” and letting off fire works towards the “enemy”. I don’t know how it happened but apparently we were all 8 years old again and Showkat had to go on a mission to grab my shit. All I could do was crack up and was of COURSE deemed the first person to die in a war. Showkat kept bitching about his white blazer getting destroyed and AC kept playing shitty music that no one wanted to hear on his iphone and the sky was so clear and the view was so nice and the weather was so great and if I could have the same July 3rd as I did that night I probably would. See guys, shit like that just doesn’t happen again. I’m pretty sure we passed out super late and met up with Kelly at St. Francis the day after? I really could be confusing this with another morning but just for kicks I’m going to pretend this was 4th of July morning. 

I remember showing up late to Dolores and I’m pretty sure Showkat had one of those Costco sized boxes of bottle rockets or something like that. He was shooting them off into god knows where and of course everyone had to bitch about that one girl who’s fingers got blown off that one year some asshole was doing the same thing. I mean it’s rude but like wuteva. I got really day drunk and so did everyone else and no one knew what else to do for the rest of the day so we all assumed we could go back to AC’s and Showkat’s for some stupid reason. We get there and AC is trying to have sexy time with his Marin girlfriend and Showkat is nowhere to be found. It’s a failure and Emil climbs on someone’s shoulders and tries to peak in on AC as half of us are in their backyard accepting an invitation to party with his crazy ass landlord and his family and neices and nephews which was so bizarre because I was so high and based and buzzed and that dude usually hates us. 

I don’t know what happened after that. I probably went home and slept, but it was such a good day. I feel like this 4th of July will be far away from the same…except for maybe the amount of booze that will be consumed.